


Selfish Sacrifice

by dersedaises



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, DenNor, M/M, Magic, child iceland, iceland is really only mentioned not shown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:22:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dersedaises/pseuds/dersedaises
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Lukas uses the powers he was born with and accidentally hurts someone from his village, for the first time he finds himself panicking and wondering how his unstable powers will effect the people he cares about. Desperate not to hurt anyone any further, Lukas takes drastic measures to make it all okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Selfish Sacrifice

 

 

As his footsteps slowed to a stop and he was in the temporary safety of his home Lukas frantically began to search for his next plan of action, his heart rate refused to slow down and for the first time he felt truly scared.

 

The door to his small home opened back up shortly after he had closed it and Lukas whipped around to face the intruder who was opening his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by Lukas,

 

“What did I say? What was the very first thing I told you when you found about- about me? I told you that you didn’t need to worry about anything because I would never hurt you or anybody, and look what I’ve done, I’ve wrecked it all.” He shook his head at Mathias’ slightly stunned silence, “Gods never mind you wouldn’t understand.”

 

“You can’t expect me to understand something you won’t explain to me-“

 

“Mathias please, do you even understand how frustrating it is? I can’t- I mean I don’t understand what’s happened to me and I just can’t do this anymore! It’s too much for one person to bear.”

 

“One person? When has it ever been one person? It’s always been you and me, so does that mean you’re just giving up on us? We’ve known each other our entire lives, I know that’s not who you are.” He spoke softly so as not to frighten Lukas any further and closed the door behind him as he began to step forward.

 

A harsh laugh broke through the air and an uncharacteristic smile broke out on Lukas’ usually stoic face, sending a shiver down Mathias’ spine, “Get off your high fucking horse Mathias, I don’t even know who am I!”

 

“You can’t say that!” He insisted strongly, “Not after everything we’ve been through… it’s not- it’s just not true.”

 

A strange sigh passed through Lukas’ lips as he shook his head, the sudden mood shift making his voice strained, “I never asked you to stick around for all that time, you were always just there and always so persistent and would never leave me alone.”

 

“You know as well as I do that you wanted me there.”

 

Lukas gathered his bottom lip between his teeth and looked down, finding he couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with Mathias, “I don’t know what I wanted, what I want now for that matter.”

 

“I know what you want.”

 

A scoff, signaling that Lukas was returning to his usual snarky personality, and then, “What? We want each other? We want true love and a fairytale ending? Why would you want me anyway? I’m _dangerous_  haven’t you heard?” He paused and licked his lips then took a step closer to the blonde, their eyes meeting intensely, “I know you’ve noticed, after all these years I mean how could you not? Day after day you just sat there and watched me become a-“

 

He was cut off sharply, “I don’t believe it, and you’re not dangerous, in fact the only thing dangerous about you is how fast you made me fall in love with you.”

 

A gentle chuckle met a roll of Lukas’ eyes, “Don’t say that.” He pleaded almost sadly.

 

“Why? Does it scare you? You’re not alone it that Lukas because I’m scared too.”

 

A groan ripped through Lukas’ throat as he looked at Mathias with eyes filled with worries, more emotion in them than he had ever shown before, “We can’t be together! Why can’t you understand that? Why do I always have to be the sane one between us?”

 

The other blonde took another step towards the slightly shaking younger male, “Luke-“ Mathias whispered, dread at seeing the person he was closest to in life have his actions driven by fear and worry for the first time.

 

“No!” Lukas yelled as he quickly backed up away from the slightly open arms of the Dane that were waiting for him to fill, “Don’t come closer damn it can’t you see that I’ll hurt you? Why aren’t you scared of me like everyone else? I’m a freak Mathias! Just- Just leave me alone!”

 

Mathias shook his head and took long strides forward to close the distance between them, he grabbed one of Lukas’ hands in his as his other reached up to cradle the smaller blonde’s cheek to make sure their eyes met as he spoke in a hushed tone, “Don’t you ever say that about yourself you are not and have never been a freak, understand?” He paused for a moment and scanned Lukas’ eyes, which were still filled with pain, “Remember when we were little and I’d run around and scrape my knee and you would always make flowers bloom out of the ground for me? How about when the village was suffering that drought and you studied ancient scrolls for a week to get it to rain? Why would people be angry at someone who did wonderful things like that?”

 

Lukas just shook his head as a silent tear rolled down his cheek, which Mathias quickly swiped away with his thumb, “I hurt that girl Mathias, what if I hurt you next?”

 

Mathias wouldn’t listen to his protests and pressed his forehead against the others, “She’ll be fine and so will I, it was just a spell that went wrong it happens-“

 

“She knows it was me and by now the entire town probably does too, I could have killed her! If I had I don’t know what I… what if that had been you? I couldn’t live with myself and people have always suspected me of being… different a-and now that little girl heard me chanting gibberish and then what, she just happened to be on the ground and her leg was bent backwards? I can’t stay here Mathias I have to leave now so please…” he trailed off as he broke away from Mathias’ embrace and stepped away.

 

“Leaving? What do you mean leaving? We’ve spent our entire lives here and now you’re just going to pack up in the middle of the night and leave and what just pretend none of it ever happened?” Mathias swallowed thickly at the thought, his life began and ended with the blonde in front of him and the thought of letting him slip away was one Mathias could hardly bear.

 

“What else am I supposed to do?” he asked almost desperately, “Do you have a better plan Mathias because I for one would love to hear it? Don’t think I’m leaving to spite you or something, I’m doing what’s right for someone much more important than me.”

 

Confusion painted itself across Mathias’ face and Lukas sucked in a deep breath as he tried to ignore the feeling of his heart breaking, “I need you to do something for me, please just, do this one thing for me.”

 

Lukas paused and Mathias grew weary over the silence, “Lukas you know I’d do anything-“

 

“Take Emil.”

 

“No.”

 

Lukas sighed; he had been expecting this, “Mathias you don’t understand I just want him to have a better life than the one I can offer him.”

 

“You’re being selfish.” Mathias snapped harshly, causing Lukas to look up at him with confusion in his eyes. “How could you think that letting me care for him would be fair? He’s your brother Lukas, he looks just like, speaks like you, he is you Lukas and he would be a constant reminder of... how I let the light of my life slip away from me.” His voice had dropped to a whisper and he had moved much closer to Lukas, his hands both sides of the blonde’s waist as their eyes stared at each other’s eyes.

 

“Mathias,” Lukas whispered sadly and brought a hand up to rest on the taller man’s cheek, “it truly is an honor to have been loved by you.”

 

“Don’t say that,” he shook his head stubbornly and frowned, “don’t say it like it’s all in the past. I will always love you and I know you feel the same, it’s why you can’t leave.”

 

Lukas drew in a shuddering breath and exhaled in a sigh, “Love is strong and strange, in a way it’s similar to the… abilities I was born with, I can’t control either of them and they both changed my life. I’m doing this out of love, I love you too much to have you hurt by me and the same goes for Emil, you love him as much as I do so I know you’ll care for him.”

 

“I’ll go with you then, you, me, and Emil we can all leave together and start over somewhere.”

 

Lukas shook his head, he couldn’t allow Mathias to be so selfless and kind, “You deserve a sense of saftey and home I could never offer, besides, this is your home Mathias, Emil’s too, I couldn’t just take that away from both of you.”

 

“It’s your home too.” Mathias mumbled sadly, he couldn’t let Lukas just slip away, not this easily.

 

Lukas gave a small tired smile and tilted his head upwards to press a chaste kiss to Mathias’ lips, “This village was never my home.” _My home was always next to you_  was left unsaid. ”I know this won’t mean much in a little while but you should know that I will love you until I take my last breath.” He whispered, his voice straining to stay level and it occurred that only Mathias was ever able to bring this kind of raw emotion out of him.

 

“Lukas what-“

 

“I’ve been reading lately, I knew that a time like this would be coming soon so I’ve been trying to prepare myself for the worst and I've found something to help. They’re rare to study up on and hard to work, they take a lot of energy and power, but mind alteration spells are very advanced so that’s to be expected.”

 

Mathias opened his mouth to question what exactly Lukas was getting at when the smaller blonde wove a hand through his hair and pulled him down so the Dane’s ear was next to Lukas’ lips.

 

Lukas fought to keep the chant coming out in a clear voice as his body wracked with silent sobs and his fingers twirled around the short strands of Mathias hair.

 

When Lukas felt the hold that was on his waist go slack he bit his lip and turned his head slightly to press one final kiss to Mathias’ cheek, “I love you.” He whispered hurriedly as he untangled himself from the dazed blonde.

 

Lukas cleared his throat, wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands, and made his way out of the door of his home knowing in his heart that the two most important people in his life could now live their lives happily and for once, safely.

**Author's Note:**

> So I didn't really proof read this so I hope it's okay. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ It's been sitting around for a while so I figured I'd post it. Comments, likes, and kudos are all very appreciated!


End file.
